Jessica Gallucci

John 1, 1: 1-5 "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."

The Lord Jesus always has, always will, and forevermore will be the light of the world. A light I forever want to bathe in. There is such a healing warmth radiating in his presence. I am eternally blessed to call him my creator, my savior, my heavenly father.

He loves me with a love that has no end. Further than the east stretches to the west. There is no measurement scale to counter the value of his vast love for me. I don't deserve his love, but he pours it out so freely. It is proven in his sacrifice.

Through the pain and suffering he endured on the cross on Calvary, where he died for me. When he gave up his life, it was so that I could freely live. All he wants is my whole heart.

Lord, you have my heart. I'm sorry that when I first gave mine to you, it was broken and shattered. But I trust you, with your unfailing promises made time and time again. You continue to make me whole.

Lord, may I die to myself and my selfish, failing ways, so that I may now live for you. Jesus, you have come through as you always have. You have never forsaken me. I was never abandoned by you.

Jesus, may my testimony of you be a blessing to others who also need your over-enveloping embrace. Guide my words, Holy Spirit, lead me. Lead us into the way of everlasting life.

I have not always had my heart set on Jesus. There was a time when I was lost, blind, broken down, defeated, and felt as if there was no hope left. Not even a slight glimmer. Life was just passing me by as I was ensnared in such darkness. There was no way out.

I felt as if I was never going to be good enough. I relied on worldly pleasures that only lead to more pain to give me even a single dose of so-called happiness. Struggling with sin after sin, thinking that if there is a God, I'm sure he doesn't want anything to do with me. A girl too far gone.

Boy, was I wrong! No matter what battles you face, no matter how dirty the enemy may make you feel, there is nothing on earth or in heaven that can separate you from the all-consuming love of God. Jesus knows everything about you,all the good, bad, and the ugly. He loves you through it.

Jesus will not leave you where he has found you; he transforms you. He strips away the pain, the hurt, the sorrows, the lies. All the walls you build around your heart. Jesus fills that heart of stone and replaces it with one of flesh and beauty.

The phrase, as stated, is that he creates beauty from the ashes. Jesus met me where I was. He can meet you there, too. He knows I fall short of the glory of God. Yet he still loves me despite my past. The sin that once separated us from God can't separate us anymore. Jesus is the answer to it all.

He is the only way; he's the full truth, the only truth in a world full of lies, and he is the Life! Jesus sent his Spirit to dwell with us so we don't have to go through this life alone.

For all those years, I felt so far from God. Yet he was always right beside me, holding my hand. Waiting for the day that I would turn and grab his hand so he could hold my heart. There is no one I would want to have my heart more than Jesus himself.

He has transformed me and pulled this lamb out of the pit. He left the other 99 saved sheep to come and rescue me. What a wonderful redeemer and good shepherd he is indeed. I was never alone. You are never alone! He is with you in the fire. Waiting to save you with open arms.

One must choose to turn away from the ways of this fallen world and grab hold of the one who's knocking on the door of your heart. Repent and leave those chains at the door. They are not welcome anymore. Jesus came to save us from our shackles of sin and shame. To give us eternal paradise and communion with our Creator.

What wonderful news. Music to our ears. Now life with Jesus is one you will never regret. The best friend who will always be there for you, day or night. A shoulder to cry on. An ear to listen, and that's only the beginning.

He brings blessings upon blessings. Accepting Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior is my life's most important and greatest achievement. Not to say that there aren't any troubles and pain in this life, but take heart: you never have to face them alone.

Though I may walk through the darkest valleys. Jesus is with me. As my guiding light, leading me straight to him. Now, to share one of my life's most personal and darkest moments, or so at that point in time it seemed that way.

The Lord did take our pain from that situation that was meant for evil. To turn it around for our good and his glory. All praise and honor to Jesus, for he is the only one worthy of it all. My husband and I had just gotten married a few years ago and wanted nothing more than to start our family, and so just like most newlyweds, we wanted to start as soon as possible.

After only a few months of trying, by gosh, we were beyond blessed. A beautiful heavenly baby on the way. We were over the moon. We could not wait to go on this new adventure together, not only as partners but as parents. As soon as we found out we were expecting, we were so excited to go to our first appointment, and we even invited my parents. Ready for whatever was to come.

One random night before our first ultrasound scan, I had a very intense dream. It was a beautiful dream. I audibly heard the voice of God. I woke up from this dream, sat straight up, smiled, and said Thank you, Jesus. God had whispered to me, “Do not be afraid.”

In that moment, I was not quite sure what it meant, but wholeheartedly comforted. My soul flushed with happiness. Little did we know, a few days later, we were about to get the worst news of our lives. Our baby that was growing in my belly sadly gained their angel wings before I could hold them in my arms. For they were not meant for this world but for the next to come.

Hearing the news that our baby did not have a heartbeat when you expected nothing but the best hit us like a truck. We felt so blindsided, distraught, and unbelievably broken. For the first time in my life, I was actually speechless, and not in a good way.

In that moment, I wanted nothing but Jesus. Once I could gather my thoughts, I asked my husband and parents to take me right to church to fall at his feet. Because even though the pain was unbearable, I couldn't think of a safer place than in the arms of the Lord.

Our minds were frozen in time. We could not wrap our heads around what had just happened. The news was shocking. In the blink of an eye, our lives went from being filled with happiness to utter darkness.

Over the next few weeks, I shut everyone out to grieve and process with God all that had taken place. It hurt, as no one could ever describe. But I trusted Jesus, knowing that our baby is waiting for us in heaven. On the other side, one day, I will be able to rock them in my arms.

I never thought that a day could go by that I wouldn't be in utter darkness. But Jesus was patient; he waited for me. He held me; he grieved with me. He hurt with me because if I could trust anyone with my suffering, it would be God, the one who suffered the greatest cost and gave up their life for all. He collects my tears in the palm of his hands, and he wipes them all away.

Amongst the intense pain- physical, mental, and spiritual- God gifted me with a beautiful glimpse of my future. Another powerful dream that was so unbelievably real. I woke up and immediately typed it into my phone. I did not want to forget what I witnessed, not even for a second.

It was the hope that I needed. It was something else for me to cling to. In this dream, I was surrounded by my husband and parents by a wonderfully lit Christmas tree and a fireplace. There was something odd yet so wonderful about this moment. All so familiar, like it had already come to pass in my life.

Into my view came this beautiful and precious little girl. When my eyes met hers, it was as if I already had known her my whole life. When I looked into her eyes, I could see my husband staring back at me. She had the same eye shape. Her hair was light to dark brown, with curly waves.

She had little bows in her hair. She wore a purple and white gingham patchwork dress. Her voice was soft, sweet, and innocent. When she spoke a word, it knocked me right in my soul. She told me, “Mommy, I love you,” and I told her that I loved her too. She said, “Mommy, I was in heaven waiting for you with Jesus.”

Those few words spoken by this earthly angel brought such joy and hope to my life when I needed it the most. I did not want that dream to end. About three months later, after the worst had happened, we were struck with joy at expecting our first baby girl to be earthside; what a blessing indeed. That little girl from my dream.

I get to look into those same precious eyes of our daughter Violet every morning and every night. Some time later, we were blessed yet again, with gazing into the eyes of our sweet and handsome baby boy, Samuel, too. Thank you, Jesus, for our precious gifts of loving our children.

Today, I stand firm on the cornerstone and the rock that I call Jesus; he never wavers. He never fails, and he always stands firm and true. I can testify that Jesus is who he says he is. He is a good and faithful god. He is a loving and personal god.

Though we have experienced another pregnancy loss between our daughter and our son. I know that God is good all the time. No matter the emotions, no matter the feelings. No matter the circumstance, he never changes; his character remains the same.

I write this in accordance with those who might not believe or might not know Jesus. I want to make heaven crowded, and I truly want to see you there. I want to see you blessed in this life and also surrounded by his love. I want to see blessings upon blessings come to pass.

I don't want you to miss out on the opportunities that God has for you. The plans he has for your life. When Jesus got up on that cross, he had not only me but also you on his mind. He wants to spend eternity with his children. So if you have not given Jesus the opportunity, I can promise you, you won't regret it.

Not even for a minute. What is there to lose when you have Jesus to gain? The best place to start is getting to know who he is by reading the Bible, surrounding yourself with other fellow Christian believers to help strengthen you, to help uplift you, to help hold you accountable, and continue to point you towards Jesus on your journey.

God does not expect you to have it all together. He does not expect you to be perfect. All he wants in return is your love and obedience. The only one to ever be perfect is Jesus himself. So let's rely on the one who is perfect.

He who created the sun, moon, and stars. The maker of heaven and earth. The artist who formed you. I thank you, Jesus, for allowing me to share my testimony of your mercy. I pray that this leads many people to you, for your glory. In your holy name, AMEN!