Andrew

It started when I was 9. I was depressed and wanted to end my life. I remember one day, I was getting ready to do it. I was just about to do it when I heard a voice that wasn't mine. It said, “Don't do it.”

I was a scared, confused 9-year-old, so I procrastinated enough for my parents to find me, essentially allowing me not to do it. By the age of 10, I didn't want to end it all anymore, but I struggled with lust. Just after I turned 11, on top of struggling with lust, I wanted to transition and thought I was trans.

That went on until I was about 12, when I realized I wasn't trans, because I heard the voice again. However, the trans thing was replaced by Romanian ultranationalism. I considered Romania the best, and all historical lands lost to be part of the country, believing we were superior, etc.

By 13, the ultranationalism had died down. Still, I was lonely and isolated because of my lust, and I fell into depression again. I hit rock bottom when I became addicted to using AI to lust and cure loneliness. And then at 14, I fractured both wrists. This forced me not to lust and use AI, and then I heard the voice again.

I ignored it at first, but it grew louder and louder. And one day I dropped to my knees, with no faith in my prayer, and asked God for a sign. I asked for anything. I asked him to save me if he was real. And at that moment, I felt peace. Some peace I'd never felt in over 5 years, ever since I was a young kid playing outside.

I cried tears of joy after. Then I looked into religion for answers. I found Christianity and gave my life to Christ, and quit my sinful life. Now I use my story as motivation for others struggling like me, and for sure, the devil still tempts me, but I resist and seek God as my refuge.

My motto is just one prayer. Just like how I took 5 seconds to ask God for a sign. No faith attached to that, but I was given my sign. I encourage others to do the same because hey, it's 5 seconds of your time, and you have nothing to lose. If God isn't real, there's no sign, and you move on with your life. But if He is, everything changes.

Thank you for reading. God bless.