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I was born a Christian. I went to church and read my bible occasionally, but I would still go about my days not praying and just overall not including God in my life. However, when I was in grade 8-9, my dad was diagnosed with a stroke, and this actually was the start of my transformation.

I went through a stage of tugging - my faith was always in and out - because I constantly questioned God. I would always think, if God can look after us, why would he let this or that happen?

Anyway, in the midst of everything, there was a lady who used to come and pray for our family. She told me that out of all my siblings, I had a strong yearning for God and that God would use me. I didn’t pay attention to that until the later years of my life.

My family went through a period of divorce, and my life spiraled. I found joy in the things of the world, such as sexual sin, drinking, partying, dating the wrong men, smoking, moving from house to house, not having a stable job, and more. All that became part of my everyday life; I was completely lost and felt so abandoned.

I went through a year of not talking to my family because I was so angry, and so many other things happened, but to focus on the most important parts, I started dating a guy who I thought would be my forever. He cheated on me, and things got so bad that I got to the point where I went back to everything I mentioned above.

We broke up a year after, and a month or two later, I was in another relationship. At the beginning, I was a bad person. I cheated and kept it a secret for an entire year. After almost two years, I ended up telling him, and this boy was so anchored in Christ that forgiveness was what he gave me.

But I knew how I was, so I couldn’t accept it. I did everything I could to break our relationship. I actually got baptized during that time, but my baptism wasn’t transformative. I was still seeking the wrong things.

Thankfully, one day I went into my bedroom and cried to God. I looked back at my life and realized that he delivered me from all of that; my heart and the spirit of God interceded for me, and he was faithful and merciful. God is faithful even when you don’t see it, and that is what has been reflected in my life.

No matter how many times I felt I didn’t need him, he still came through for me, and now I am going to try and spend the rest of my days honouring him. Amen.